Last year this time, we start to prepare for our Suro-journey. We were on cloud 9, so excited, so full of hope and now a year later preparing for the 3th Suro, I am not excited, without any hope , we are fedup and I know I have to get my act together but Fucking ….How?????
I want to scream for all the meds!!!! The emotions!!!! The blood!!!! And all that just add up!!
I have to lose some weight and all I want to do is …EAT + EAT+ EAT+EAT!!
I have to get fit, but to get my lazy ass on the treadmill is like calling me for war-duty.
I have to get my mind around, and all I want to do is thinking of nada-zilts-zero.
I have to get excited, over the moon, for this next try , but I am scared because this is the last one. And this is changing the whole-IF –journey, because this will be the end of the journey ( the only journey I knew for the last 10 years )
So while I am sitting here, I am feeling like a druged-horse not knowing how to get up on my legs, and then when I am up, how to get the one leg in front of the other one…