Oct 31, 2011

37 weeks and still kicking.

My baby-sitter in action...

I cannot believe we have been home for over a week now, just being inside our home the whole time and ENJOYING these 2 miracles. I think it will take a while to realize it’s ours forever!! After all these years with Zero Guarantees, it’s FINAL!!! that we are parents and that’s a GUARANTEE!! At freaking last!

With every feeding me and Luv change and feed the other one, and very second time you get the same one, you cannot believe the change, they getting bigger as we speak! And a little secret, I LOVE small babies, I just adore them. My premmies are not prem anymore....the weigh 2,8kg. Must be all the love they get  that’s making them grow so much.

They are acting more and more like babies. If we wake them for their feeding and they realize its MILKY-TIME they go mad... and they attract their bottles like a shark its bait. I am scared of my fingers. And we will defiantly need too  buy to  more burp-clothes because if that’s in the way they start to nipple on that as well.

Most of the time they sleep, but the hyperactive Nika ( suro-sus spot that in the womb already)  wants more attention and like to listen to us open-eyed.

They are only 37 weeks today and they hate having poo in the diapers. If they start to wiggle we just know.....change the diaper or Nika’s hat is over her eyes.

I can just look at LUV, its not a surprise for me , but he is just enjoying his kids soooo much. If you can see him now you will think soon he will open a baby-crèche.

I don’t have somebody helping me at home and between everything I still got time for washing, ironing and believe it....after a year there was time for me to get my ass on the treadmill, and it felt great!

Yesterday somebody was telling me they are going to try another IVF, because I have given them hope. And it feels great to be, some hope for women out there.

If you are still on the IF journey, my heart goes out to you. I hope with all in me that you will read my story and can take a bit of it, if its a small piece of hope to get glued too. Its a not easy road to be one...HUGS xxxxxx

Waiting for their bottle ( me having a BAD hair day)

On their way to have a bath

Oct 28, 2011

One Month!!!

The twins are ONE month!!! and it feel like one day!!!

Oct 26, 2011


To see my babies make every tear and needle worth it!!

They are soooo sweet and loved! And we are so relax....more than I would ever think!!

You remember a few months ago, the story about paranoid me!! So I bought the sound and movement monitor, all the times I watch over Suro-sus kids I was PARANOID, for them to stop breathing!! Its a HUGE thing for me. So if I have to watch I will sit up the whole night, with my hand on their chests or with a finger under their nose, or lights flashing on them to see if they still breathe. At the end of the night they have had a wonderful night and me.....totally exhausted and so glad to see that the sun is shining.

In the hospital I was fine!! Because they were double check all the time with heart rate and breathing monitors. Funny on Friday when the sister was busy to disconnect the beepers ( I did not see it) the next moment I was aware of not hearing the beeping. I turn around and ask did they stop to breathe??? NO, they your babies now and will be fine.

SO when they arrive home we put on their SNUZAS ( its a movement monitor) and wonder if this gadget work?? And yes it work!!! Its the best gadget ever!! You just clip onto their diapers and the moment nothing move after 10 sec it buzz to wake the baby, if not after another 10 sec the alarm will go off!  Mommy go and get yourself one!! Snuza have kill my paranoia .

The first night at about 4 o’clock it went off, baby still fine just the Snuza that have move abit after babies wiggling. From then on we know it work so when we hit the pillow....we....sleep....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oct 25, 2011

1st night home!

SO what happen the first day home...

We did not know what to expect..how will it be with twins, and YES everyone is telling how drama and suffering is about to knock on your door. Me and Luv was so ready for that.

The  sisters at hospital were amazing, and was telling as to just keep to the routine. As you know ROUTINE is the one thing me and Luv don’t have in our life at all. We life the moment...

We get home at six o’clock and start to feed immediately. After that we unpack everything. To unpack my suitcase after months was the best ever!!! And to just be at home...

This is what happens the next few hours.

Feeding times is 6-9-12-3-6-9. Every 3 hours.

15 minutes before the hour, I walk and put the kettle on to warm the bottles and I make the bottles. In that 15 minutes Luv, wake the twins, change their diapers ( he is doing so good , don’t look like a new-dad, he look like an baby-expert)

I get the bottles, and the burp clothes, each of us take the twins and start to feed. This take about 15 ( Wium is a quickie) to 25 minutes( Nika is the snail) to finish their bottles and to get them burp. I am actually scared to brag about it, because babies can disappoint their parents the moment you brag with them. So as you can see half an hour after we start on the hour. WE ARE FINISHED!!!! We did not think this will happen. Then they go to sleep again and sleep till the next feeding. SO the first night we got SEVEN HOURS SLEEP.

And this is what happen the next 3 nights also. I think the twins are just as glad we all home now!!

Wium and Nika have ring-side-seats for the World cup final!! and dad is enjoying every single second of it.

Oct 23, 2011

HOME after 24 days!!!

Sorry for the bad updates but I was in hospital most of my 24 days and not at a PC, but from now on you all will get more updates, because after a whole year of never being at home  most of the time....I CAN FINALLY SAY...I AM BACK!!!! THE FAMILY ARE COMPLETED

The hospital would not discharge me if the twins could not finish all of their bottles of the day and pick up weight, and then they went on a strike and don’t drink ( they are so tiny and get tired easily)  so they get the rest of their milk through their nose tubes...and if they finish that I need to room-in with them to see if I can cope!!! ( COPE is the last thing on my mind...I will cope because I want my babies!!!

So it looks like Saturday will be the due date to leave. So Friday morning Luv took the bus down here ( so he can drive us all back home) I was driving to the hospital and was so fed-up for the hospital, the artificial air in the room and I was missing home...big time!!!

Opposite the hospital there are a very nice grocer , I bought a sandwich and sit there and think this is getting to much now!! I finish eating and went to the twin’s room. There the doctor  was and she said...they fine you can go home!!! WHAT!!!!! And the rooming in??? If you want to, otherwise go home!! I START CRYING!! AND IT NEVER STOPS THE WHOLE DAY!!

It was the best news ever!!! And for the first time everything felt real!!, because in hospital it feel like  the twins belong to ICU. And NOW after all they mine, I can take them home!!!

So then I call Luv on the bus tell him you must get your ass down here, he will just arrived and them we need to go. I went to fetch their car-chairs ( very weird feeling to went back in hospital with that). I dress the twins in their own clothes. Put them in their own blankets. Pack all their belongings and cry. I cry because this is final!!! I cry because I need to say good bye to new friends!! Which I will miss so much. I cry because of this miracle-journey that has end...I cry because I am so happy!! To be a family!! I cry because I miss Luv so much the past year!! I JUST CRY!!!! And look terrible!!

Suro-sus also bring her kids to say goodbye!! It was the first time they saw them. They think Nika and Wium are just sooo tiny!!

The bus drop Luv in front of the hospital, It feel like from then on we just grap our precious cargo and GO!!!

It was a very happy and very sad day!! All the sisters come and say goodbye!! They where angels to my babies! They love my babies so much!!!

Luv took the two very special babies! And start walking and very one was just saying goodbye as we past, for the sisters, the receptions the kiosk-girlies, the kitchen staff, all were saying goodbye ...and I cried!!!The one was saying ...NOW our days will not be the same anymore!!, this was so touching!!!. For 24 days!!!!! I was getting so much love from the hospital people and all of my friends nearby!! Thanx you all!! I will miss you all.

We get the babies and drove to my parenst home, make a pit stop to feed ( and to show my grandmother of 90 the twins) and get in the car and went straight home just in time for the next feed!

Will tell you more of the first night at home.

...SO AFTER 10 AND A HALF YEARS...THERE are BABIES IN OUR HOUSE!! This is very special!!

The twins ready are waiting for Luv to come and fetch them

The hospital-angels say good bye!!

I am the cry-baby!!

A very proud father!!!
We are leaving the hospital!!! finaly!!

Oct 20, 2011


The twins do not finish their bottles with every feed ,so now we can not go home so till then we have to stay!!

I will tell you more when I am home again... maybe soon!!

Oct 17, 2011

20 day in ICU

Today its 20 days in here!!  What a place to be!! and I cannot believe how the time fly and all the time I have spend in here. The 2 are doing great!! and it sound as if we can start to pack our bags... to leave soon.

We are 35 weeks today and we can leave at 36 weeks. and the prems are ahead of  where they need to be.

I would love to go finally!! I feel like a snail with my house on my back( my car) to unpack everything will be the best!!! and Luv are going to stay at home for the first 2 weeks! Wowwwwww

Oct 16, 2011

35 weeks!

I have not much news right now, we  are sitting at the hospital most of the day. It was nice to see our babies after the 2 days we where at home. Gosh they are so cute!!! and getting bigger by the day. She weigh 2,48kg and he 2,38kg. They are starting to  drink their bottles. she is doing great and he is a bit of a lazy bee. They get tired.

They did a hearing test and  got a head scan, all is fine. Now they just need to get their feedings under control and then we are off to home.

Look like we can go home maybe this week!!! it will feel funny to go home at last after months.

For me it feels like I am so part of the hospital, I know from the security gard to the kitchen people to most of the staff. I have made so many friends, which I will dearly miss.

Lots of my friends have come to visit and this is nice breaks from the ICU. Tomorrow will be 35 weeks.  If I see my babies and look at them and just think what I have get from them this past weeks, I can not think that they still was suppose to be in-side. They perfect little babies! and some people I know drink wine while they 35 weeks pregnant. How the hec can you do that to your baby????? you must be brainless...

Oct 13, 2011

Missing my babies

This is where I am now....at home sweet home...for the last time alone...

I have been sitting my time-up in ICU in a space that is the size of 1x1,5m for 2 weeks flat!!  I don’t like small spaces but I did it. Because of my babies. Time have fly so quickly. I can sit with my babies the whole day for hours and I just love it!! I am still in  amaze med-shock!!  It still unbelievable to be a mommy.

Nika is weighing 2,36kg and Wium 2,22kg. They are doing brilliantly good!! For premmies! I think they slip out at night and go for a steak in town, thats why the weight are picking up. And the kangarooing is what they love.

They are on full feeding 41 ml and they have start with the bottles and what don’t go in they still get top-up with their feeding tube. I think they are so fed-up with that tube in their nose, Nika pull hers out today.

Wium have been getting so many needles in him, when just somebody touches his legs or arms, he start to cry, shame my poor boy. Soon we will take you home to peace and no doctors near.

How long we will stay??? Me guess is as good as yours!

Everyone tells me to get a break and go home, how do you leave your kids?? SO yesterday I went home( after tossing and turing the whole night...) and just get all the washing and pack a new going-home-bag , because my the 2 dont fit in to tiny-baby stuff they are to long. Tomorrow I will go down with Luv can not wait to see them today.

I thought I won’t  cry when I tell them I am going to leave then for a day. I said goodbye and then they open their eyes! And I start crying....all the way out and everyone seeing me  tap me on the shoulder( by now  everyone in the hospital knows mel)

We phone a few times to get reports on our babies. They sleep well....everything is going good....they drink nicely...they poo ect.

I think the time is near to take them home....we can not wait!!!

Oct 11, 2011

Look at us!!

Wium getting his first bottle!!

Suro-sus visit us. Look at Wium  prem suits. His legs are too long thats why its hanging out.
First time with clothes!!!

Oct 10, 2011

They are doing great

Just left the ICU, can not believe its day 13 already. The supa-babes are doing great!!!!!. They are off all drips now, thanks goodness!!. Have to say every morning there was blood-girls, or must I say Vampire-girls they did the blood-works. Shame they cried so much and my heart broke in 10000000 pieces!!

We start breastfeeding, but I don’t think I have enough milk and that a pity, I want to breastfeed!! But what’s best for the babies?? Enough milk at the end.

This weekend we did a lot of kangarooing, we love doing that. And Luv just adores his 2 little sweethearts. He miss them a lot in the weeks. Luckily time fly’s and shortly we will go home and all this stays far from home, will vanish in the sky. I have made so many new friends and all the sistesr are so nice, they are like friends now.

Today was the first day we have put on clothes for them for a short while. It was very funny. Their legs are to long for the prem clothes. They where all curled up in the baby grows. But they look just like babies and I hold them together. Its so sweet so see how they reach out to each other!!

Oct 7, 2011

They are doing great!!

We have just left the hospital, and the twins are doing GREAT!! They have start picking up weight. They are more or less 100g from their birth weight.

Every day we spend time with them are special. And they are sitting our hearts full!! Every single square are belonging to our wonder-babes!!!

The hospital stuff is very good to us. There are not words to describe how they are going out of their way to make this stay as nice as possible!! Last night they dine and wine us in one of the hospital rooms. Very special!!!! Our first night out as parents, with a high qualified sister to babysit.

Every morning Wium and Nika have allot of visitors ( hospital stuff) that come to see how they are doing!!!!!!

Our romatic hospital evening!!!

This is what you call  "ARMS FULL OF PRAYERS!!"

Oct 6, 2011

The Birth Story!!

Our birth story!!!!!

We got up the morning ans just drink coffee, chat and  relax!! Nerves??? NONE we were just too excited!! We did the last minute running around ( went to buy a LOT of tissues....for tears of the day) Suro-sus and her DH went to drop the kids with our mom and went to the hospital and me and Luv went off on our own.

On the way our phones just ring the whole time, everyone just want to send us some strong’s and luck. Actually the whole week it feel like a wedding, because phone’s where ringing all the time.

We  got to the hospital I went with my most precious milk ( no, we did not need a milk lorry, a smallll cool bag  did it!) and sort the suro-labour things out. I was very emotional the whole morning. They sent me of to Neonatal ICU. I ring the bell and this nice sister open the door and there she stand next to this 2  small beds getting all the probes and pipes ect right and she said. “HI, twin mommy I am busy to prepare you little ones beds. “ That was the moment, everything that is about to happen, felt real!! My twin’s beds!! They are waiting for them!!

While they prepare sus, me and Luv went to quickly grap something to eat and went back to Suro-sus room. She was on a high! ( throughout this whole journey she was not emotional, I know there is allot of people that want to know. We are very strong in our minds. That why I just did this IF route over and over and over again, and she wanted to do this for us,  She was very excited. We could not wait to see what going to pop out.

Next moment the door open and they can and fetch us all!! The whole very colour full dress clan! When they wheel Suro-sus bed down the ale, I start crying!!!! Luv and sus-DH went to the scrub room and I and the 2 wonderful ICU sister to the other one. All dress up, me and Luv was waiting outside the theatre while the doc put the epidural in.

It was here, all geared up with cameras and cam recorders where a total super-high-out-of-myself-vibe took over!! It overwhelmed me!! I was beyond of excitement. They call us, sus was now all wrap up with theatre material, and they show us where we can sit down. 3 little chairs  just like the 3 bears!! With goldilocks lying on the bed! Sit down was not for me!!  I think I would have won the Comrades with all the energy I have had then. Adrenalin was running tough my vines!! When they start to cut...the one sister call and tell me where we will have a better view from. I move to the foot-end of the bed, where I could see the cut, I call luv and when he was standing next to me, I could see his eyes!!Blood and fleche.

This I can tell you ,we have the most amazing pic’s and video material of this whole labour. As you all know under stress, that when I operate the best. I was looking, crying and jumping and took pic’s!!

Next moment I saw the head and then I start to JUMP UP AND DOWN!!!! Just like a Jack in a box!!! And scream!!( you can just think how the first sport event will go off) I was mad of excitement!! I scream!!!It my baby!!! Jipeee!!!! And then the doc was having the baby in his arms. I did not even listen when I was saying it’s a GIRL!!! So I ask Luv what is it?????? GIRL!! We both shut tears of joy!!! Then the doc was asking where the mother and the father are??a few times and all I could think of why don’t these people listen?? He is calling someone!! Then I heard Suro-sus voice calling for us....only then I realize it is US!!!!!!!!!! We are a mother and a father!! At last!! So Luv cut the cord, very special!!

Then what feel like hours and was only 3minutes the next head show and while they suck out the water . So baby was head out and show-us-your-parts-inside. All you can hear on the video is Suro-sus asking “what is it????? What is it???? And then  A  BOY!!!!!! And she said MIX!!!!!! MIX MIX MIX We where over JOY!!!! I cut the cord of Nika. The whole theatre experience makes this whole journey REAL!!!!

Then we just stare at the babies while the doc’s and sisters where checking everything!!They both scream when coming out then I knew!! This one’s are alive!!!!!!

Then what feel like hours!!! ( we wait outside ICU while they do all things  that need to be done!!!

Wium was struggling  allot with his lungs!!so they call me to start skin to skin!! With him immediately . I cried while his was gasping for air!! I was feeling so sorry for him!. Luv had Nika on his chest. This was our first family moment! So special!!

The first hour was critical, and nerve-wrecking and not for the faint hearted!! The alarms went off me and luv just want to cry for our babies!!

We went home late that night....so emotionally drained!! And tired. But we are finally  so blessed to be called........ MOM and DAD!!!

On the 28 of September at 14h00, I just know why for 10 years we just could not give up hope all these years...and all the ten-yearic-heartache-tears just disappear in a sec.

Thank you GOD !!! you BLESSED us!!!

Just before we left the house, last bump foto.

Off to the teatre!!!!

Doctor and Doctor

Me and my wonder-babies

Oct 3, 2011

Up date

 Whats-up in our Baby-world?? With our precious gifts in Neonatal (baby) ICU?

 First I thought, how will we ever get pass the days, but time fly( when you watch little miracles!!). We touch them and talk to them. I express milk ( not much milk, look like I am going through a drought , but they love the milk and then get more each day. Grow babies, GROW!!!! At the end, this few days of breast milk was worth it!!! But I really wish I can do this for the next few months. Then I need to sterilize everything and then its kangaroo-time ( best part ever!!!! With kangarooing you need to take off your clothes and then the baby lie on your chest. It help allot with growing and then they love to listen to my calm heart beat, ( I think the heart rate was a bit speedy at times.  – with suro-sus kids around.  So as you can see that’s the reason we only left the babies at ten o’clock at night and if we hit the pillows....we are gone!!!

If you go thought the door, where Wium and Nika are. You must scrub your hands with  sterilize soap and then rub it with alcohol stuff!! Washing of hands is taking up several hours. Because you do that every time you touch something. My hands are in sock!! And have never ever have been this clean!!

Now you wonder how is the twinnies ?? They are super cute and we just LOVE EVERY SINGLE BIT OF THEM!!!! Its the best gift ever!!! Sorry for everyone out there, no one will and can ever beat this present that Suro-sus give us!! Its un beatable, folks!! Sorry!!!

Wium was struggling with his lungs the first day , but after a few hours they give him something which I can not tell you what, because of the name. After that he did fine. They just need oxygen after labour and then he got a C-pap. If you have the C-pap on they just look like fighter-pilots!!  Wium’s C-pap where taken of first and it was the first time we saw his face. I start crying when I saw him!! Mommy’s very tiny boy. They weigh him and he have lost weight ( 1,7kg) They both have jaundice and are under the lights.

Nika was doing fine but from the second day she was struggling with the breathing its a big thing with prems.  Her C-pap was only taken off yesterday, what a sweet-little face!! Today it look like she can maybe have an infection, and with that she have stop once to breathe but recover on her own. I will go out grey here. The alarms are peeping and screaming, but I have seen the sisters in action. They are GOOD!!!!!! And I know they are in the best hands!!

We have got so many visits and calls from people and some people we don’t even know. I make me feel good because I know my story have touch hearts, and this journey can show people that Miracles do HAPPEN daily!!!

For every one out there, with longing hearts, I hope that you can one day be part of a miracle two!!

...and for the record!! Suro-sus feels as if  a train hit her, but today she feel fine!!!

for the first time out side seeing each other again!!!

Oct 1, 2011

Day 1-3 of ICU

HI you all!!

Sorry for not being very present right now!! But I am a very busy mommy!! I am not at the internet so it’s a bit difficult. The birth story I will post over this weekend. I need time to pin point the most wonderful day of my life down and you don’t want to miss out on any detail ( and there was alot!)

So I will just give you details of Wium and Nika doings!!!!!

Day 1 was a hectic day in their lives. They have met their special parents that have waited for them for 10 freaking too long years!! and say goodbye to their tummy-aunty’s-bake-oven.

Wium was suffering  with his breathing and Nika was doing fine. After a few hours they did give him something (something for now because I do not know what?? Will found out tomorrow) and then he was fine. They are on normal room air not on oxygen, thats great!!!

They look like fighter-pilots with the hats and pipes they have on!!! They are so cute!!!

We did our fist kangarooing!! This was the best part ever. I undress and they put Wium on my breast and he was holding my thumb!! Luv was having Nika on his breast, he was sitting like a statue!! Very funny, to scared to move!!! They are so tiny!!! Have to say Luv just LOVE his 2 little babies so much!!! If I wonder where he is...you will find him next to one of their little beds!!!

Day 2 they were doing fine at 15h00 Wium did give us, our first scare ( we are 10 years older) while we were looking at him he turn blue!!! I scream at the sister and she react immediately!!( now I know they can look after our babies very nicely and quickly they will react if something happen) We got such a fright!! And just run out of ICU!! It was just a mucus-plug and they got it out, and he was fine. The sister call us to come and have a look to see that he was fine!! GEEE WHIZZZZ we thought he was dying!!!  So emotionally I am drained!

Day 3 Wium are doing the better than Nika today!!. Both of them hold our fingers and then they don’t want to let go!! We love it!! I can not tell you how many hours we are in ICU just touching and holding them and  we talk to them allot!!


I am sitting with Wium and Luv with Nika