Dec 22, 2017

                                To all that's going to take a break.....HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

if its in the sun or...
snow!!! just have FUN xxxxx
See you all in 2018, I will also take a break. The past year so many things happen and the biggest one for me was defiantly my book  ZERO GUARANTEES!! that was launch. Thanx to all that bought the book.
and for you that are still busy with the IF journey I know this time of the year are hard. Hugs Hugs xx

Dec 21, 2017

Funny Faces

You how you always want to take this beautiful pictures of your kids..... to show them someday when they all grown up...
Well for the last two years the moment I get my camera out the twins only do funny faces!!!
Then I beg and beg cause I want a nice pic.... it don't work.
So now I took the ridiculous fanny faces photo and when they grown up it will be the only ones and then I can just think the ...."OOO No Mom... why did you took the photo?????
2nd try...
third try....???? it was in a shopping Mall
their  Grade R graduation night
at the concert....
Look how much they enjoy the swim....
do I like this Fanta??
so one in n 100000000 I hope to get a No Funny Face one.....

Nov 3, 2017

if you think about this..... how many parents are so busy  preparing the road....

I don't have any giant expectation for my kids future. With all of my heart I want happy kids, that have confidence in themselves and in situations.

Kids that enjoy life and all around them.

I want my kids to be love , not judge.

I enjoy every second of this amazing opportunity to be a parent ...

we did our first MTB race with the kids.
Oros was at the water point..
ready for the color run

                                                    we had so much fun..

Love this pic
they can play forever...
 Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breathe away

Oct 3, 2017

We ship school and had fun ALL DAY......

We had parties !!!
If muffins are your favorite you can not wait, you sit and WAIT..

I did a show at a music night, WHY I always say yes, boggle me!

This little miss have lost her first milky tooth  , the tooth fairy was.....great excitement

and still September was not over yet....


Aug 10, 2017

5 years ago the twins start to get teeth!

The first one was from hell !

And with twins I thought one will then be bad and the other one will breeze through this teeth getting…

But it change into our worse night mare with both kids struggling to get them.

Every single damm , bloody, freaking one was chaos-thundering-awfulness!

Each and every single little  ivory  diamond there was fevers of over 40 degrees, it let them cry, vomit,pass out and never sleep for almost 3 years.

Nika had a total personality change after all the whites arrive at last.

That passing-out and running to get them under the aircon to get the fever down was the hardest part….

So you can just remember what happen when the W came running to our room one morning with his best news ever… Mommmy my tooth are loose..

I start crying immediately!!!! Cause if he only knew how hard it was to get that mouth full of teeth and now you are losing it….. and where is my baby???????


So the tooth mouse are a HUGE thing now in this house, and someone’s little boy have just found a new way of  money making!!

Jun 28, 2017

Haloo I was not gone-missing-sleeping-immigrating or what else…. I was just so busy with my book!!!


Wowwww      wowwwww    Wowww, It took me by surprise with just so many people that wanted my book!

I still are abit in a bubble of what??? Did I realy did it???? Gollie Gush! And the feedback took the wind out of my sails!


I think while writing there was a certain aspect you wanted for the readers.  You hope they don’t find your book boring…think it was total crap! And then you get all of these texts and emails and calls of what they think about it.

For two weeks I was in some shock and it took me back to how damm hard this journey was and to get the feedback of how many women out there is feeling so freaking alone on this road they have been stuck too!!

A BIG THANX to all of you who bought my book!!!!


My book are on Amazon Kindle.

 The Paperback are not ready due to the publishers that struggle to get it uploaded the right way. It is in process and will be ready hopefully soon.

Or you can order it with me.


Just drop me an email

Jun 5, 2017

Thanx for the overwhelming response to my book!!! I can only say thank you all!!

as you can see, one blue balloon is missing!! this is what happen when you takes photos with kids and balloons...."mommy there goes the blue balloon" but after all who wants to live in a perfect world!!
Something amazing that happen the day after the release...
6years ago when I lost the last baby with the ectopic pregnancy, I nearly died and my body when into shock. Then I realize I have lost some of my memory. I could not remember names , places ect. It was bad for me but what can you do?? I suppose sometimes your body block some stuff. And then the day after the release...
My memory can back after 6 years!!! I miracle!!
So to have write the book was meant to be ... It was a setting free!!
Drop me an email at if you want to know about my book. 

May 24, 2017

At last my book that I was busy with are finish, done, have-come-to-end have reach the final!

Why I have write this book:

#         this is my release!!

#         to release all the emotions that have infected my body for so many


I have write this book to set myself FREE, to RELEASE me from years of infertility that toxified me, my body and my soul.


#         It was something I just needed to do for myself.

#         it’s for my kids to read in future to see how much I wanted them


and if one person in this caught-up- infertility-world feel less alone


                                                IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!!


The day I received my first hard copy of the book I cried for two days non-stop. It was this huge relieve!! On Friday I have received my printed books (I know this sound like bragging, but I am so damn proud of myself!). Wow I did it!!

And since Friday so much have happened (will tell you later), so much releasing have happened. I still cannot believe it! I actually want to do a warrior dance!!

And this is what’s it’s all about:


Imagine stepping into the shoes of someone who is diagnosed with infertility and is unable to start a family. Imagine how the situation captures your whole life: your friendships, your emotions, bank account and your marriage. It make you feel expose. It diminishes the way you think about yourself and finds you peeing on sticks all the time with a forced and sad smile plastered on your face after hearing of yet another pregnancy announcement. You get caught up in the world of doctors, needles, specialists, tests, medication, bloodwork, time, constant uncertainty, pain and waiting. You will dread the question, “so when are you having a baby?”

This was my world for ten long years. A world of whirlwind emotions: Emotions of hope, denial, grief, bargaining, anger, depression, sadness and acceptance.


…and against all odds….against all logic… YOU STILL HAVE HOPE!


This was the balloon release we did on Friday, the balloons was for all the babies I have lost. 10 white and two blues one for my boys.

I have self-publish so at this stage the book are available from me, only in South Africa, for R190 plus R50 postage.

Drop me an email if you want a copy.


I am busy with the process of uploading it on Amazon and hopefully it will be available soon for everybody over the border. Will let you know as soon as it is available.
               through all the emotions we had fun too

May 22, 2017

Soon my book will be available!!!!

May 21, 2017

Whoop Whoop Whooopppppp


May 3, 2017

SO at last… on the 25 of April my first hard copy of my book arrive at my home!!!

I cried from the minute I set eyes on the book!

It was sooo freaking emotional for me!!!


To see the final product after years, to know how much have been put into this project. Hours and hours, days and days, years and years…. And so many emotions!!!

This book I have write to get closure on my years of infertility. This is my setting free and to embrace new life!!

I am so excited!!!!!!

So we can start to print….

Apr 13, 2017

It's holiday and KKNK Art Festival and We love it. Now that the kids are bigger things are slowly getting better!!

Nika was the party girl that dance all the time ( I think she wanted a free cd)

very boring to the other one!!! he sleep!

as you can see the kids have had fun and we spend hours doing their stuff, but who cares!!
then we did the parents shows.... and the kids love it as well. We also watch a show from Holland very mind blowing!
and in South Africa people just love making fire!! and the twins help!
Once a year this is my creative outing!! tot the KKNK. in the four days we attend I only saw out host two quick times. Luckily they love shows just as much!! see you next year..