Jun 5, 2017

Thanx for the overwhelming response to my book!!! I can only say thank you all!!



 
 
 
as you can see, one blue balloon is missing!! this is what happen when you takes photos with kids and balloons...."mommy there goes the blue balloon" but after all who wants to live in a perfect world!!
 
Something amazing that happen the day after the release...
 
6years ago when I lost the last baby with the ectopic pregnancy, I nearly died and my body when into shock. Then I realize I have lost some of my memory. I could not remember names , places ect. It was bad for me but what can you do?? I suppose sometimes your body block some stuff. And then the day after the release...
 
My memory can back after 6 years!!! I miracle!!
 
So to have write the book was meant to be ... It was a setting free!!
 
 
Drop me an email at zeroguarantees@gmail.com if you want to know about my book. 

May 24, 2017


 
At last my book that I was busy with are finish, done, have-come-to-end have reach the final!

Why I have write this book:

#         this is my release!!

#         to release all the emotions that have infected my body for so many

            Years!

I have write this book to set myself FREE, to RELEASE me from years of infertility that toxified me, my body and my soul.

 

#         It was something I just needed to do for myself.

#         it’s for my kids to read in future to see how much I wanted them

 

and if one person in this caught-up- infertility-world feel less alone

 

                                                IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!!

 


The day I received my first hard copy of the book I cried for two days non-stop. It was this huge relieve!! On Friday I have received my printed books (I know this sound like bragging, but I am so damn proud of myself!). Wow I did it!!

And since Friday so much have happened (will tell you later), so much releasing have happened. I still cannot believe it! I actually want to do a warrior dance!!

And this is what’s it’s all about:
 
 

 

Imagine stepping into the shoes of someone who is diagnosed with infertility and is unable to start a family. Imagine how the situation captures your whole life: your friendships, your emotions, bank account and your marriage. It make you feel expose. It diminishes the way you think about yourself and finds you peeing on sticks all the time with a forced and sad smile plastered on your face after hearing of yet another pregnancy announcement. You get caught up in the world of doctors, needles, specialists, tests, medication, bloodwork, time, constant uncertainty, pain and waiting. You will dread the question, “so when are you having a baby?”

This was my world for ten long years. A world of whirlwind emotions: Emotions of hope, denial, grief, bargaining, anger, depression, sadness and acceptance.

 

…and against all odds….against all logic… YOU STILL HAVE HOPE!

 

This was the balloon release we did on Friday, the balloons was for all the babies I have lost. 10 white and two blues one for my boys.
 

I have self-publish so at this stage the book are available from me, only in South Africa, for R190 plus R50 postage.

Drop me an email if you want a copy.

zeroguarantees@gmail.com
 

 

I am busy with the process of uploading it on Amazon and hopefully it will be available soon for everybody over the border. Will let you know as soon as it is available.
 
 
 
 
               through all the emotions we had fun too

May 22, 2017

Soon my book will be available!!!!

May 21, 2017


Whoop Whoop Whooopppppp

      days................................

May 3, 2017


SO at last… on the 25 of April my first hard copy of my book arrive at my home!!!

I cried from the minute I set eyes on the book!

It was sooo freaking emotional for me!!!
 

 

To see the final product after years, to know how much have been put into this project. Hours and hours, days and days, years and years…. And so many emotions!!!

This book I have write to get closure on my years of infertility. This is my setting free and to embrace new life!!
 

I am so excited!!!!!!

So we can start to print….

Apr 13, 2017

It's holiday and KKNK Art Festival and We love it. Now that the kids are bigger things are slowly getting better!!

Nika was the party girl that dance all the time ( I think she wanted a free cd)

very boring to the other one!!! he sleep!

 
 
 
 
as you can see the kids have had fun and we spend hours doing their stuff, but who cares!!
 
then we did the parents shows.... and the kids love it as well. We also watch a show from Holland very mind blowing!
 
 
and in South Africa people just love making fire!! and the twins help!
 
 
Once a year this is my creative outing!! tot the KKNK. in the four days we attend I only saw out host two quick times. Luckily they love shows just as much!! see you next year..
 
 
 

Mar 31, 2017

This is me in hospital!!! and guess what not for my arms of legs or anything else but....women stuff!!!!  as you all know my freaking uterus are A BITCH!!!!!!!!

All the babies that think then could enter by uterus need to be wipe out by the dam bitch.... and she if not wiping babies out  monthly she made me bleed nearly till death!! I got periods as heavy as storms!!
I am so ready for this!!!!!!

So after the second ectopic, they put a Mirena in ( its for contraception!!!) but as I need zero contraception mine was put is to minimize my periods!!

Check!!! you can move the emergency caesarean in before me!! I love to wait!!!

....so after the Mirena the bleeding was less( not gone) and then one day "The Bitch" was back, thinking who the hell have intrude me?????  You must be OUT!!!! cause I am a bitch!!! so she start to bleed!!!!!

From December she start, January we ( DR, the kids ( they always with due to lack of babysitter) and me ) took the Mirena out cause at this stage I bleed EVERYDAY!!  I went on the pill , but the bitch is furious!!! and the pill did not work a bit. For four months I BLEED!!!

Yesterday I went for a endometrial ablation! Show they can bomb my lining away!!! and remove a sist!!  Hope this will be the last seen of periods!!!!

They were so glad mom was out and alive!!!! Mom do feel a bit whonkey!

Mar 17, 2017

Time fly, don't everyone not knowing that???

In my mind what I see when I look at my kids is this....

but last night when I look at my twins fast asleep I saw..... two huge kids, not babies, not toddlers but two huge, long monsters I not recognize as my babies, and I want to sob!!!!

cause I have just deliver their documents for their new school of next year need for GRADE ONE!!!!!


This is shocking!!!
   NO not my babies!!

I am going to cry my eyes out, my soul will be crash when I saw my babies in school clothes next year.
                                     ... and it's only me that will miss them....

Mar 10, 2017

 

 
Yes I was so not on my blog for awhile!! and so much have happen.... we have had school athletics
 
 

and they just love this 3 second race.... and now they need to wait a year to do this again!!.

and it was my Birthday!! 43 yes it look as if I am maturing now!! geez and I don't feel this ancient!!

... and through all of daily stuff we are busy with my BOOK!!!! it took forever but I suppose this is what happen if you want to write a book with twin-tiredness-less sleep-concentrating ect!! not that easy!. This was one late night correcting and double checking!!

                                                             and there was fun times!!

                                and we slip from school with a day with fun with mommy!!

                          and this brave girl did ear piercing for the second time !!

                                                            Mom I did it!!!!

                               and in between I did proof reading again and again and again!!!!!

                    the great news....... we will start the  printing process next week!
                                            exciting and nerve rocking!!!

Feb 9, 2017


IFAASA is South Africa's infertility site and they are really doing a great job!! Go and have a look at their site!



FEBRUARY IS REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH MONTH

During February, IFAASA wants to shine a spotlight on infertility and send the message ‘You are not alone in your journey.’ This years theme is "I am #1in6 " in reference to the ratio of couples struggling with infertility. It is estimated that around one in six couples, approximately 3.5 million people, experience some form of fertility problems at some poin...t in their lives.

Do not wait to get checked out by a Specialist, over the next few weeks, we will be featuring stories about people who, from a very young age, struggled with diseases relating to infertility.

Click on our site and register for a 25% discount, on your initial consultation and scan at one of the participating Fertility Clinics, around the country. T's & C's apply

www.ifaasa.co.za


 

 

Jan 30, 2017


The beginning of last year, a car was following me when I came from doing shopping in town. I did not recognize the car and was wondering who the hell this person is, after I made a few ditches to lost the car on my tail.

 

At last when stopping at home a women jump out asking if she can please buy my twin pram! My first reaction was … Are you mad I still used it and I just love my pram!! I know my babies was already 4 years old But… No I am not ready to let go of my pram!!

So I told her we still used it on occasions, ye 3 times this past year ( she don’t need all the info) but I will let her know the moment I was ready to sell it.

Then every now and then she send and text, can I buy the pram, with me saying after the December holiday we will make the call. And I will let her know when.

 

So on the holiday she ask AGAIN!!! As you can see she really WANT MY PRAM.

 Hubby said let it go and me … NO I am not ready!!

 

So then she text me, my kids are going home in a weeks’ time and they want the pram. SO I said! You can have it come and fetch it on the 2 nd of January.

I thought the morning of the 2nd I am going to put the twins in their pram which I adore and make a last ride and probably ball my eyes out!!.

But the morning of the 2nd with a house full of sleepover friends at 8 the morning , everyone still in PJ’s I got the call, I and standing infront of your house!

 

What a shock !!!  was mentally prepare for this! My Pram are going to be someone else pram,

I cried with  this people watching me, It was one of the most emotional things to let go after!!!

But my twins are 5 years old and I still think of them as babies!!

Jan 18, 2017

SOME FUN xmas pics!

Our sweetea pie just love swimming!!

...we all just want to do kids stuff no matter what age!

we wrap my mom's own bike and put in under the tree!  you can just think all the guessing that went on who's like lucky one getting n bike!! big fun!!

we don't do prezzies only for your kids, put funny things get collect during the year and then pitch underneath the tree........ look what I got!!!!! till now I still don't know what this is!

very surprise!!!

We all got swim caps!!

the whole bunch together