Emotionally I am on “break-down edge”!!!! This is roller coasting confusing…
I am just trying to keep myself to cope. Tuesday was bad and I was preparing myself for the beta that’s going down to crash!!! Went to bed at 8 o’clock because I was just there…don’t want to think, don’t want to do anything ( 8 o’clock was the earliest bedtime in the last 20 years for me.)
This morning I was sitting in front of the lab, an hour before they open, because I want this over and done with. Went to the lab in a nearby town, because I want the beta within an hour!! When the nurse put my ID on the computer, she was saying whoww…wonder why????Yes because an Idiot can see what’s up!! And Yes I do feel like and “experimental rat” When I left the lab, I want to cry…and the only thing I can think of is as soon as possible you have to get your life back on track. That’s the only way I can cope, so I eat a Chocolate , decided to get on the treatmill when I arrived home and I will dye my hair Cherry red!!!
Text my friend at the lab at half pass 9 and to get my beta, please!!!
And by all odds went from 296 up to 510!!!! I was shock!!! Still is.
Looks like 2 start to grow but the one died, had it before. The blood is not fine but its better.
I will NOT do I Beta again, this is what I think now, but time will see. I ones did a beta till 65 000 and still lost the babies.
The doctor book a scan for the 6th December and then we will see what’s up inside.
I am taking it day by day!!! Never think is over till the fat lady sings…