May 25, 2011

To all the IF Sisters

Lately I am thinking a lot of all my IF-Sisters!! I have been one for so looooooong  and there was days I was thinking I am going to be a IFFER for ever. You know ,like at the end I am going to get a “life-long-infertile-badge”

I know how every time we were not doing treatments ( it was the time when we was busy getting the strength to tackle the bull by his horns to do it AGAIN…, or the time busy rocking or savings-piggy for money, and NO it was not for ice cream, it was for nice stuff like hormones.MMMmmmmmm

…and that I can tell you every single time I was just thinking, can’t I just be pregnant, just to get there was huge for me, because then I can take it day by day. And the minute I was pregnant I BELIEVE WITH EVERY SINGLE THING IN ME…THIS IS GOING TO BE IT!!! Just  so that my heart could be broken into 1000000000000000000000000000000000 of pieces  with a miscarriage.

And year after year you just keep on wishing, keep on praying, keep on hoping!!!

I always think… I will only know it will be the end if I saw a baby, then I will know it’s for real!! I am still believing that  second when I see them, I will know  this will be the end!!

Because I am still not off the hook yet . I still feel like an semi-IFfer…

And I know how there are so many girls out there that wishes with their whole heart to be lucky with a baby. Girls that feel they have been forgotten. Girls that feel they will never get lucky!! I know how it feels to be left behind year after year after year. Listening to the every “24 sec-next-pregnancy-announcement” of your friends , to the “how-difficult-it-is-to-have-kids” comments.
So to all the girls with a baby wish in your heart, my wish for each and every one of you lovely girls out there, I know how hard it is for you…….. I HOPE YOUR NEXT TIME WILL BE YOUR LUCKY ONE!!

1 comment:

  1. Liewe vriendin Cstelle,
    Ek is so bly vir jou, vir Suro-sus en jou Luv
    Liefdevolle groete uit Antwerpen,
    Baaie kisses