Oct 7, 2010

I am in pause-mode

I am in “Limbo-just cruising-taking-day-by-day-actually-freaking-out-stage” I am living in a bubble of “NO FEELINGS”

In 2 weeks time AF( My periods) will arrive so at the end of October my treatment will start. And I can really say I don’t know what to feel.
That’s one thing IF did to me…it has stolen all my emotions. EVERY SINGLE FREAKING EMOTION!!

And I hate it!!

# I can never be excited, because there are ALWAYS disappointments
# I can never just be happy, because things change in seconds
# I cannot do treatments and think THIS WILL BE THE ONE! Because it’s not!
# I am scared to do IVF, because it don’t always work
# I hate the 2WW, because I feel pregnant, have all the symptoms and then it’s BFN!!
# When I am Pregnant, I cannot get excited because it ALWAYS end up in a miscarriage
# I actually can just have ZERO EMOTIONS!!!

1 comment:

  1. and now you can take all those deep emotions, let them surface, embrace them and invite them, because in a few weeks you are going to the be the mama of 2 little sweet peas xx