How do you
have hope???
How do you
still believe???
How do you
go on ??
How do you
keep your sprit up high??
How the hell
do you cope??
... IF
things don’t work out the way , you so badly with every single cell, fibre,
thought, and every inch of our whole heart wanted it to be ??
It’s then
when you realise that Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s
learning how to dance in the rain.....
Because that
storm you in, is bad , its really bad,
for you it’s the worst storm ever. It’s a storm that can be storming out within
no time, or it can be one that will keep on
and keep on twirling you for side to side. And not matter what, you just
don’t see the end. You are planning, but the end it just not in sight.
Its a storm
that will leave you with bruises, scars, personality changes, it will fuck you
up emotionally in so many ways. It will take years, if ever to heal.
And all you
can you for your self is dance in the rain !!! even if you hate the rain!
If you are an
IF this time of the year is the worse!!! I am still trying to get myself in the
sprit ( after all these years its weird I hate this time), because if you don’t
have kids!! Christmas is a horrible time!!
I know how
you so badly just wanted to be pregnant at Christmas....maybe because its the
end of the year....which mean next year you start with another infertile –new-year
or its because you have to face you family with loads of kids and loads of
preggy-bellies
I’ve got
friends who just did Ivf-ing with a big-fat-NO
Friends who
are busy with IVF-ing
Friends that
so badly wanted a next kid, but don’t wanted to go thought this whole treatment
again ( it already took them years just to get one)
Friends who
have to call this the end ( who in their hearts still HOPE)
And then I’ve
got friends that I know and suffering in silence...
So to all of
you out there who are in this freaking rocking boat, I salute you !! and I wish
I can dance with you in the rain.
And in this
time of the year all I can say is ...just think of yourself and no one else. Do
what you wanted to do and not the family. Do what makes you happy. Do things
for you and enjoy it... and be happy. Maybe
2013 will be the year without storms!!
Love and Kisses
Me
xxx