Okay so my Plan B for this last try was, if both of me and Suro-sus was negative.
I would shave off all my hair, go in to a grieve for 3 months, and try to get out of there, forget the horrible past, find myself again, make peace and starting my new life, without kids!!! Extreme I know. But that was plan B.
But then my Sus got preggies with our Miracle-Twins!!! And I just need to make peace with ME not been pregnant till the end ever. My plan B for that was to do something nice for kids that don’t have parents or not staying with their parents because of circumstances.
In the hometown where I grew up there is an orphanage. So I called them and ask in their baby section what are the needs?? So they send me a list of, from babies to 6 year olds ,the names and sizes. They are in need of shoes and socks!! ( it’s about 10 kiddies) One of the boys on the list name was the same as Luv’s.
So me and Luv went to the shops and bought some shoes , socks and tops. It was very funny in the shops, because if you don’t have kids you are not so shoe-clued-up!! It was chaos!! At his best, Luv was sitting in a corner with the list of sizes and me running around searching for the right stuff. It was nice to buy baby and kids stuff, not like always, looking the other way, and it’s so funny but after we did that ( it was 2 days before the 6 week scan) I got peace…..so much peace and I decided… what will happen from now on ,will happen…
WE HAVE NO CONTROL ANYMORE!! Just enjoy this amazing ride!!
On our way home after the scan we stop at the orphanage and drop the stuff, the lady that is the house-mum of the small one’s home, ask if we want to see them. Yes , we would love too!!
So off we go, the door open and a small boy came towards us, I was asking him what is your name??….Yes the same as Luv’s name and I had tears in my eyes. So now the small ones all start going though the bags and it was like we just drop gold!!! Shoes!!!! Shoes they were so excited!! Trying on the wrong sizes and when the lady show us their bedroom, one 2 year old who doesn’t talk, took Luv’s hand and dragging him to the shoes to show him!!.
It was an amazing experience !!! The whole thing of time set aside to get the stuff and their faces ….it was priceless!!!
I have also decided to start getting kiddies clothes from friends for them in future and maybe just collecting a soft toy for each one!! Because they have like 2 teddy bears for 6 girls and can you think what it will mean to them having their OWN LITTLE TEDDY OR DOLL to sleep with. They don’t have a “little sleeping blanket “ or special cushion or toy like other kids.
It was Heart-Touching!!!