We have been away for a few days due to Luv’s work. We decided to stay with a friend’s at their beach house. It was very nice.

But last night, just before 4  o’clock the morning my friend was hearing noises in the kitchen. She thought it was Luv ( it was his duty turn) thinking he was searching for something, Luv was awake hearing it too , thinking it was my friend in the kitchen fiddling around...

My friend was getting up to see what’s up with Luv, but there was no-one. She went to the loo and before getting into bed, looking on her cell phone for the time. While lying in bed looking at the cell phone’s light that was still on, she saw, something reaching for it. Next moment someone was grapping it next to her..... she wake her husband telling him something is in their room..

 

Next moment a man jump up and run away.  I know this is fuck!! But this is what happening all the time in SA.

He have take cash for the handbags and cell phone’s and from the neighbours where the same happen while they were sleeping they stole laptops, cells, jewellery, iPods and ipads.

You not even save in your own houses while sleeping!!! and to think they are next to your bed...

And this is the 3^rd time it happen to us while we were staying over at friends, its freaking!!

If we buy stuff for the twins like toys, whatever, we do not buy two of each. For the simple reason,  how will my house end up looking? And from the start we want them to share ( something that no kids if any ,not even these two understand)

Sometimes I do get presents which are the same , but that’s where it end.

But their cots look identical. With the same trimmings and stuff inside.

Each have a 1 metre long worm ( the first thing I bought when we know its twins) we use it more for packing them tight in their cots, because they are turning like a “fun fair” there are a extra cushion that’s the one plus the one for their heads and then they got a small blancky-toy-thing  and then each got and identical same mouse.

This mouse’s, was the first thing I bought after our 3 months scan, after seeing our two precious identical twin boys ! I can still remember that scan, it was so cool to see them....I never bought baby stuff because  every time it ended in a miscarriage. But that time it felt so real.

After I lost the boys, I was putting everything in a memory box and when I felt the need, I open it and have a cry-of-life-time. In this box were all the scans pic’s, prezzy we’ve got and the 2 furry mousses.

 

When the twins were born, it just felt real to give them, their 2 brothers, little toys. I think it was like a healing thing for me.

The mousses are the exact same but for some reason there are a huge difference that only Nika and Wium can see. Its crazy I know.

We can do what we want they both cry for the same mouse!!! Even if I put the two next to each other they go for the same one.

This morning Nika got “THE ONE” first and showing it to Wium like “Look what I’ve  got” WEE LAA!! And Wium was charging towards her and she was going like the wind doing everything so that Wium just could not catch the mouse and her.

 

The twins are both now start walking which are so cute!  To see the small little bodies and their proud with each step. but if they want to get to a place quick they speed-crawl.

They are all over the place right now. I leave the safety gate on the stairs open, so now they go up and down all the time on their own. They love going up and play in their room. You can see its their special place, which they adore.  I think they like the new freedom.

They are climbing on to everything which are a bit dangerous because they not afraid( i hope the afraid will kick in soon)yesterday Nika climb up the ladder to the slide and slide down on her own.. if you could see her face, I did not think see know the speed down.

Its unbelievable how they managed their bodies in ways to get where they want to be. They are unscrewing everything that gets into their hands.

And the fighting for things is getting more. Both got a way of their own, but they battle their own fights. But to see how much they love each other is so special. Wium is a real little boy and Nika are the sweet little girly with the curly hair.

I’ve got them more or less in a routine that works wonders ( if that ever happen with twins)

They go to bed most nights 7 o’clock and a few times 8 o’clock but that’s it. Have to say at the end of the day its nice just for me and Luv to have our chats  and some time for our own things. I just put them down in their cots...tell them to sleep and close the door....and it work like a bomb.

They wake once or twice maybe at night so its wonderful the nights.

Thet getting so big now and want to talk the whole day to me. To see their personalities is unbelievable. There is such a mix!! The one will do things my way and the other way Luv’s way.

I love every minute of being a twin mommy xxxxx

And can you think its their 2^nd Christmas.....Wwowwwww

I want your hat sissy!!

How do you have hope???

How do you still believe???

How do you go on ??

How do you keep your sprit up high??

How the hell do you cope??

... IF things don’t work out the way , you so badly with every single cell, fibre, thought, and every inch of our whole heart wanted it to be ??

It’s then when you realise that Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s learning how to dance in the rain.....

Because that storm you in, is bad , its really  bad, for you it’s the worst storm ever. It’s a storm that can be storming out within no time, or it can be one that will keep on  and keep on twirling you for side to side. And not matter what, you just don’t see the end. You are planning, but the end it just not in sight.

Its a storm that will leave you with bruises, scars, personality changes, it will fuck you up emotionally in so many ways. It will take years, if ever to heal.

And all you can you for your self is dance in the rain !!! even if you hate the rain!

If you are an IF this time of the year is the worse!!! I am still trying to get myself in the sprit ( after all these years its weird I hate this time), because if you don’t have kids!! Christmas is a horrible time!!

I know how you so badly just wanted to be pregnant at Christmas....maybe because its the end of the year....which mean next year you start with another infertile –new-year or its because you have to face you family with loads of kids and loads of preggy-bellies

I’ve got friends who just did Ivf-ing with a big-fat-NO

Friends who are busy with  IVF-ing

Friends that so badly wanted a next kid, but don’t wanted to go thought this whole treatment again ( it already took them years just to get one)

Friends who have to call this the end ( who in their hearts still HOPE)

And then I’ve got friends that I know and suffering in silence...

So to all of you out there who are in this freaking rocking boat, I salute you !! and I wish I can dance with you in the rain.

And in this time of the year all I can say is ...just think of yourself and no one else. Do what you wanted to do and not the family. Do what makes you happy. Do things for you and enjoy it... and be happy.  Maybe 2013 will be the year without storms!!

 

Love and Kisses

Me

xxx

 

It’s the twins Grandma’s Birthday today!!!! And all they want to say is........ Happy Birthday Ouma!!!!

When are you going to visit us again, we miss you!!!

Twins are busy with their exercise programme...I think they are scared of all the holiday food that are around the corner. Or maybe they wanted to fit into their swimsuits when going to the beach!

This week is our actually due date week a year ago. The twins are their official one year old!  And I am proud to say that they have reached all their one year millstones.

Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you, you are not babies anymore and are moving to toddler stage....WoW !!  I can dearly say I do miss the baby stage and every time I am holding a small little baby my heart start missing a beat, because I just adore little babies!!!!

The pleasures my miracles are giving me are just endless. We enjoy them soooo much and every day are a treat just to watch and see them they have change our life into so much special moments.

Some day’s I still cannot  think that this would not have been possible if one special girl did not wanted us to experience to precious gift of PARENTHOOD