World Prem Day

Today it’s World Prem Day!!

 

I just cannot think it was just 4 years ago when I was the prem mommy with two 32 weeks  prems in NICU

Mostly to have prems is abit of a shock. But in our case we knew suro-sus was too small to go to the end. So there was this change of having prems.

And then things were  about to change from 28 weeks….so weekly I was reading up about prems. To be prepare!.

I remember how I weekly call Luv to show him pictures of 28 weeks, next  week 29 prems…….and every week was this HUGE milestone if they where  still save inside!!. It defiantly help with  the prem shock to come.

But in my case with every baby I lost and all the dramas to just get a baby, I think certain feelings just get cut off! And seeing my twins dying in my hand. All I want was a baby who is alive!!

But  before we hit the theatre they call me into NICU and when they open the door…I  nearly had a breakdown….It was reality!! And we don’t know what will happen from now on!. they told me in hard words what will happen the moment they out. They show me all the things that are going to be put on and in my baby! To prepare me!. Scary but I was excited!!.

And then my two precious premmies was born…and I was swaps into this world of uncertainties…confusing machines and tubes. Lights that beeps. Alarms that went off all the times, babies that stop breathing, and got infections. What help was that for me they was alive and I know this people was the best for my kids. They know how to help premmies.

All you want to do is holding your babies and all you can do is standing next to this open air crips, looking at your miracles feeling so helpless!.

Because the hospital is not near us I spend every day the whole day in NICU. The sun was shining and dying and I was sitting in NICU. Your eyes looking constantly  at the monitor above their beds to see how they doing.

And every time you leave so tiredly and when you wake up the drive to the hospital feel like hours and you don’t know what to see when that door open. You get to know all the dr and nurses insides out. Hand sanitizer become you new best friend.

You have a new life a NICU life that is all you know. You think about the hospital as your new house and then the day come to leave….

And you scared to be on our own with our alarms and monitors and professional people at your side!

 in disbelief you  go home!!!!

 

And now 4 years later my premmies is rule ling me , my life , my all!!! We did survived the prems!!

 

Thanx to all the pro-people that are looking after the prems!!!!