May 22, 2015

When you in it, there’s so many times you think, will this ever end?? Or when will you have a glimpse of the so called life you know,  will it ever show on the horizon again??

I remember the so many nights when you got like zero sleep! The most times up for a night was 21 times! And then the many times you watch the clock and it’s 4 o’clock and all you think is can this day just start cause the night was chaos.

Will it ever happen that kids sleep through?? Or is it just a saying?

...and then when and how you don’t know or remember... but the kids sleep from you put them in bed till 7 in the morning! You can’t believe your luck!! The first few night you sit and wait for when they will wake cause this just can’t be true!!! And then before you know you so used to this new sleep-through-nights!!!

You remember the nights when you need to do feeds every 3 hours running around to make bottle’s, change diapers, getting burps out. Before you hit the bed you have already made the arsenal of bottles and putting everything ready for you nightly=duty=forever=calls. This change into your new life! It’s all you knew!...

And then one day you so fed up and decided this is the end no bottles anymore!!! This decisions took you more than a year to do, and then ... your kids is just fine!! And you wonder why the hell did you not do this a year ago!!!!!!

I have change most days 14 diapers! It was  some days all I did the whole day( especially with the teeth) you wonder will you ever get them off their diapers??? How will they ever get potty train?? Or will they go to their matric farewell with a bag with not lipstick but diapers?? And then before you know it, they potty train and don’t have a diaper on day and they sleep without them too. And you think how the hell did I do this???

And now my kids are grown up and I can not carry them like always, this bring me to tears.

They nearly 4, and my house still have prem clothes in, all 12 of their bottles are still standing on the same place. Their dummy’s are on the same place as when they was baby( they only dummy till one year, so for 3 years the dummy’s are on the same spot, cause I wish they want them still!) ridiculous I know.

And I still got packs of diapers cause I did not think we will ever get to the panty and undie-stage! Many friends want to buy the packs, and I say let me just first have a look how many there are( I know how many there are)

Why can I just not let go!! Of this baby stage??? Maybe cause I just love every single bit of it??

I was addicted to it!                                            

And yesterday night when I feel so funny?? I wonder maybe I am pregnant???? Can not think this thought cross my mind... with tubes gone and a loop in... I still think I can get pregnant!!

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