Sometimes I wonder how will I ever get everything done which I so much want to get done. Or when ever will I get a change to be creative EVER again. Defiantly difficult when you are a stay-at-home-mom with no help till dad arrive. But  I want to miss anything  the twins do???  NO!!  It’s like a love-hate-thing. I want me-time and I want twin-time all day long!

And if  I look at them and see how dam quickly they getting bigger by the day. I want to scream STOP!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!

Every week I think it’s getting better, but every week have new challenges.

First there was a time when you need to be all time at there side when they play outside. Then it’s getting better when they can do stuff themselves and then just when you think they okay and you can sit and page through a magazine!!! The moment you look up..... they on the spot of riding there bike down the slide!!!

It is a big responsibility to keep my most precious miracles in one piece !

...and then after 10 years of infertily.... loads of stress and dramas... and I did cope much of the time. Twins were born, we survive NICU, cope with the first year with no help like experts ( just can not remember anything accept tiredness!) get them to crawl, walk, climb, sing and dance and destroying our “new” chaotic home..

And then we at a stage where kids sleep till morning with no wake-ups (did not think that will ever again in this life happen!!! We have good night sleeps!! Only wake up for Pee-breaks. I  have more time for my-stuff, so after all these years 3 months ago... I RELAX!!!!!

Now I think the biggest mistake of my life!! I am a ALL-TIME-HIGH girl!! Action is what I love on!!! But I RELAX!!

And I feel shit!!! I am extremely tired!!( maybe of all the sleep?) exhaust when I walk to the phone, 4 steps?( maybe I just need some exercise??) My head are pounding with headaches ( maybe I just need a chiro visit?) but then one night something happen I was so furious of someone lies!!! ( people who lie never ever stop it’s a disease!!) it’s not LUV!! If you have wonder. And I flip!! It felt as if I got a stroke! This is how furious I was!!

I went to bed and need to do relaxing exercise just to calm me down!  After that trigger I felt shit!

And 3 days after that I went to get my blood pressure check.. with the words.... you need to see a doctor as in NOW!!! You blood pressure are extremely HIGH!!! What a shock!!

So the last month I am trying to get it under control!! And I am on medication!! It was so cool to be meds-free form 3 years now!!!!

I must say I feel ancient!!! Maybe my body was to use to that high gear life, relaxing just put her of her trolley!!!