How do you have hope???

How do you still believe???

How do you go on ??

How do you keep your sprit up high??

How the hell do you cope??

... IF things don’t work out the way , you so badly with every single cell, fibre, thought, and every inch of our whole heart wanted it to be ??

It’s then when you realise that Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s learning how to dance in the rain.....

Because that storm you in, is bad , its really  bad, for you it’s the worst storm ever. It’s a storm that can be storming out within no time, or it can be one that will keep on  and keep on twirling you for side to side. And not matter what, you just don’t see the end. You are planning, but the end it just not in sight.

Its a storm that will leave you with bruises, scars, personality changes, it will fuck you up emotionally in so many ways. It will take years, if ever to heal.

And all you can you for your self is dance in the rain !!! even if you hate the rain!

If you are an IF this time of the year is the worse!!! I am still trying to get myself in the sprit ( after all these years its weird I hate this time), because if you don’t have kids!! Christmas is a horrible time!!

I know how you so badly just wanted to be pregnant at Christmas....maybe because its the end of the year....which mean next year you start with another infertile –new-year or its because you have to face you family with loads of kids and loads of preggy-bellies

I’ve got friends who just did Ivf-ing with a big-fat-NO

Friends who are busy with  IVF-ing

Friends that so badly wanted a next kid, but don’t wanted to go thought this whole treatment again ( it already took them years just to get one)

Friends who have to call this the end ( who in their hearts still HOPE)

And then I’ve got friends that I know and suffering in silence...

So to all of you out there who are in this freaking rocking boat, I salute you !! and I wish I can dance with you in the rain.

And in this time of the year all I can say is ...just think of yourself and no one else. Do what you wanted to do and not the family. Do what makes you happy. Do things for you and enjoy it... and be happy.  Maybe 2013 will be the year without storms!!

 

Love and Kisses

Me

xxx